Kurt Cobain’s Death: 20 Years Later
By: One of many whom Kurt Cobain inspired named Jack Castillo
April 8th, 1994 Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain (sometimes referred to as Kurdt Kobain [mostly by himself]) was found dead in his home in Seattle, Washington. A self inflicted shotgun blast to the face claimed his life at age 27, inducing him into the 27 club with Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Brian Jones, Pigpen McKernan, & Dave Alexander. He left behind his fame, his band, and most of all his wife, Courtney Love, and daughter, Frances Bean Cobain.
He left a suicide note that is shown later in the article. In the note her quoted the Neil Young song “Hey Hey, My My (Into The Black)” saying “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” The note was dedicated to his family, friends, and childhood imaginary friend “Boddah”.
While the police ruled Cobain’s death as suicide, many people (including myself) believe that he was murdered.
Murder theory #1- Richard Lee: Lee was the first to announce publicly of his disbelief in the deemed suicide. Soon after Cobain’s death he started a public access radio show called Kurt Cobain Was Murdered, after his theory. Lee found several “loopholes” in the suicide including changes in the nature of the shotgun blast & the lack of blood in the crime scene.
Murder Theory #2- Tom Grant: Tom Grant was a P.I. whom Courtney Love hired after Kurt’s disappearance form a California rehab facility a couple days before his death. When Kurt’s body was found he was still under Love’s employment, however he was beginning to suspect Cobain’s death a homicide for the following reasons:
- Bloodstream Heroin Levels
Grant claims that because Cobain’s heroin level was 1.52 milligrams per liter when he “pulled the trigger” that he couldn’t have been able to pull the trigger being as high as he was.
- Suicide Note
Grant was working for love at the time, so he had access to Kurt’s suicide note. He saw that suicide wasn’t implied until the separated last few lines. He believed that Cobain wrote the notes announcing his intent to leave Courtney Love, Seattle, & the music business. Many handwriting experts have climbed the note is indecisive weather or not those line are kurts handwriting.
- Shotgun
The 20 gauge shotgun was checked for prints, however none were legible.
- Rosemary Carrol
Rosemary Carrol was Kurt Cobain’s Attorney. She reported to grant that Cobain had come to her asking if she could make a new will without Courtney Love saying he was to file for divorce. Carrol has not commented publicly on the matter.
Murder Theory #3- Nick Broomfield: Nick Broomfield is a documentarian who made the film Kurt & Courtney, a documentary about Cobain’s death. In the film he speaks to an ex-rock star named El Duce. He claimed that Courtney Love Offered him $80,000 to kill Kurt. He refused.
Many of Cobain’s closest friends don’t think he killed himself. Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth fame stated “I don’t even know that he killed himself. There are people close to him who don’t think that he did…” when asked if she thought Kurt was murdered she responded “…I do, yes.”
Her husband/bandmate Thurston Moore stated “Kurt died in a very harsh way. It wasn’t just an OD. He actually killed himself violently. It was so aggressive, and he wasn’t an aggressive person, he was a smart person, he had an interesting intellect. So it kind of made sense because it was like: wow, what a fucking gesture. But at the same time it was like: something’s wrong with that gesture. It doesn’t really lie with what we know.”
One of Cobain’s musical role models Greg Sage said “Well, I can’t really speculate other than what he said to me, which was, he wasn’t at all happy about it, success to him seemed like, I think, a brick wall. There was nowhere else to go but down, it was too artificial for him, and he wasn’t an artificial person at all. He was actually, two weeks after he died, he was supposed to come here and he wanted to record a bunch of Leadbelly covers. It was kind of in secret, because, I mean, people would definitely not allow him to do that. You also have to wonder, he was a billion-dollar industry at the time, and if the industry had any idea at all of him wishing or wanting to get out, they couldn’t have allowed that, you know, in life, because if he was just to get out of the scene, he’d be totally forgotten, but if he was to die, he’d be immortalized.”
Kurt Cobain’s suicide note is as follows:
To Boddah
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.
For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.
I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!
Kurt Cobain is a pop culture, musical, and rock icon. His memory, like his music will live on forever. His death is an unfortunate truth that people today still haven’t gotten over.
Category: Arts & Entertainment, Features, News
