“Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?”
The Glee Club certainly can’t.
No, he didn’t discover America. He’s the “silky smooth adult contemporary” artist Shue was determined to assign for the week.
- For anyone who was curious. He’s also a “Golden Globe, Oscar, and 5-time Grammy Award winner.”
Raising the point that this guy (above) is rather unrelatable to teens, Kurt backs a burgeoning Facebook campaign (anyone care to join?) for a Glee number by – “wait for it – Ms. Britney Spears.”
Schue hates the thought.
Our favorite air-headed Cheerio, we find, shares her name:
Brittany S(usan) Pierce.
(Try to say it fast, at least thrice.)
So that’s why Heather Morris’ character was never credited with a surname. I bet most of us thought it was made that way to match her ludicrous one-liners: quick and “huh”-worthy.
While denying their “uptightness,” two of our most tense faculty members obviously aren’t on the best terms. Will and Emma are conveniently interrupted by Carl, the new and spontaneous dentist-boyfriend played by John Stamos. (Hey, kids, it’s Uncle Jesse!)
Dr. Carl lectures the Glee Club on good hygiene, diagnoses Brittany with the worst teeth he’s ever seen, and prompts the series of visits to the dentist’s chair, leading to gas-mask hallucinations that soon incept some Britney Spears sparkle into the minds of our saddened singers.
Brittany dreams of being in Britney’s place, a visual mashup of Oops… and Toxic in the infamous VMA I a Slave 4 U performance. Later, she brought Santana along for Me Against the Music, no longer feeling like she’s living in the other Spears’ shadow after a rather “sweet” exchange with a photocopied fantasy version. Pssst, it’s actually the real Britney Spears.
Real Britney's creative cameo told Brittany straight up, "Cause this is a fantasy."
Arty’s puts the show’s guest in a Cheerios uniform, has Tina begging for his forgiveness, and yet another football field number to Stronger. In the true plot, our resilient Arty managed to get himself and Finn raring to go and officially on the team, thanks to Coach Beiste.
Finn and Rachel, the epic couple, must settle out their jealousy and apparent differences in the high school social hierarchy after Finn’s reinstatement on the football team. Thinking that they’re both better off as “losers,” Rachel uses the Baby One More Time attitude and attire to her advantage in order to prove a point to Finn: they both needs some security. Reassurance and relationship fluff ensue. They are ever so heartwarming.
Kurt, still adamant over his pro-Britney-performance campaign, argues that “Britney Spears IS Pop Culture,” inflaming Schue over his apparent need to “Let loose a little!” – in a way any and all of us have ever wanted to tell off a teacher. He can take the principal’s punishment for the outburst, yes. But it takes real courage to stand and walk to the office wearing that kilt and those tights.
The theme of the week happens to be “Fantasy.” Something to do with Britney’s old fragrance? Maybe, maybe not.
"You gotta get ridiculous, bro," the know-it-all, have-it-all dentist advises Mr. Schue.
Will is the one who manages to run the furthest away with his ideas. Carl’s attempt to instill some impulsiveness using a jar of irony-filled, generically unappetizing office candy, proved to be effective on Will. He bought a brand new yellow Corvette, almost like Carl’s (plus heated seats, mind you) in order to impress Emma, only to be harangued by Terry’s concern over money. We all know he eventually takes it back, right?
Will’s need to prove a sense of spontaneity convinced him to not just allow a Britney performance/bowler hat extravaganza at the Homecoming Pep Rally, but also perform with the kids…and manage to lie about it to Sue,. Uh-oh.
Though met with praise by the crowd, Glee’s interestingly arranged Toxic was cut short by Sue pulling the fire alarm, convinced of some sort of riot. Of course, she later threatens to sue for bodily damage and take away his vests, all while spouting hugely inaccurate historical comparisons.
The episode winds down when Finn denies Quinn’s offer to get back together; which was, after all prompted by Rachel. Her faith restored, she dedicates a cover of Paramore’s My Only Exception and happy tears to her strangled “little bird,” letting him fly free. End.
Apart from the Brittany personality “blossoming,” as Kurt put it, this episode was probably quite a challenge for the production team. Tell us, Ryan Murphy, how many times did were those iconic music videos screened? The attention to detail in replicating outfits, scenery, and choreography were well done, if not almost accurate.
It stretched much of our imagination and showed exactly how much Glee can get away with. We can once again grow to appreciate our fast-dwindling childhood and finally be able to publicly admit: “I used to love Britney.” Possible awkward pause. “Actually, I still do.”
So that’s what you missed on Glee.
Have some “faith” for next week!
- I don’t feel like anyone on Full House was ever as smiley as John Stamos was, and it was FULL HOUSE.
- Why are little kids backup dancers in Brittany’s dream?
- The key change was unnecessary on “Baby One More Time,” reminiscent of awful arrangements found in the karaoke machine you pretend like you don’t own.
- *Tsk-tsk* Jacob. is. disgusting. Though hilarious. Ew, sweat stains.
- Kurt, who’s up next in line for the spotlight, must be channeling Marc Jacobs’ style. The tweed suit, the scarves, the kilt. There is no better role model.
- Figgins is the most uninspiring principal.
- I just watched “David After the Dentist” today in advisory. That smirk after Rachel’s “Is this real life?” filled me with joy.
Episode Director: Ryan Murphy
Best Comedic Timing: The Shue fangirl in the audience. Every time. “I want to be that hat!”
“Leave Britney alone.” – Santana
“Let’s talk about Michael Bolton.” – Schue
“I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.” – Brittany
Glee-dback: Your pick for the next pop culture icon tribute?