Slightly Filtered Thoughts on the Oscars

A live-blog transcript of the full Academy Award Ceremony. The unfiltered (…slightly filtered) thoughts and rambles of entertainment writer Miranda Nicole on everything from Jesus Bale, Anne Hathaway’s numerous dresses, and James Franco’s state of mind.

LAST NIGHT:

THIS POST IS VERY LONG, BUT  VERY GOOD. AND I’M NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE I’M THE AUTHOR SUFFERING  FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION.

Pre 7:30 – Watching E! My take on fashion choices will be posted later. James Franco is so not present. If this is ever published am I allowed to even write that? Hmm. JAMES FRANCO APPEARS TO BE UNDER THE INFLUENCE…of something.

7:30 – It begins. Awesome opening.

7:32 – Anne Hathaway and James Franco enter the nominated movies and Alec Baldwin’s dream. Or maybe they were there the whole time? I’m laughing. I’m laughing out loud. Morgan Freeman narrating. James Franco in tights. “Seduce her! Seduce her!” Wait? A Delorean?

7:36 – MY DINNER IS READY.

7:49 – Done. Ran back to the television to see it is now a commercial break.

7:52 – Kirk Douglas is ancient! He’s presenting the Best Supporting Actress award. So lovely, but you can’t understand him. Oh this breaks my heart!

7:57 – Melissa Leo wins for her performance in The Fighter.

8:00 – The Heavy – How You Like Me Now is the walk off song?

8:01 – Justin Timberlake is Banksy? That’s a stupid joke. Mila Kunis is so beautiful. Presenting award for Short Animated Film and Full Length Animated. These look so good! The Lost Thing wins for short. Toy Story 3 wins for feature; no surprise there.

BLAH BLAH I can’t do this. Will watch it on DVR tomorrow and write a nice recap.

8:16 – I fell asleep. Brolin, Bardem, those are in blinding suits. Best Original Screenplay and Adapted are up.  I love Christian Bale’s beard. I’m sorry. I am a scruff person. The more you look like Jesus the better. And it is a ginger beard! DYING. Why did I never see The King’s Speech. It looks awesome.

8:19 – Wa-wait-wait…who one? King’s Speech? I’m too busy looking at these AMAZING James Franco gifs on Tumbla. Dude, it is so hot. (I meant the temperature, not Franco, though–)

8:23 – Anne in a tux. Going to sing. About Hugh Jackman.

FRANCO IS IN DRAG! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!

8:26 – Brand and Mirren up. Best Foreign Language film: In A Better World wins from Denmark.

8:29 – Why does Reese look like Julia Roberts circa 2001 in her vintage dress? Lame.  Best Supporting Actor. AHHH!!!!  Christian Bale WINSSS! Ginger Bearded Jesus wins! He says bloody hell! OH MY HEART! (and earlier he said he was a “git”.) Ok, now I think I have a crush on him.

8:42 – The Australians (Kidman and Jackman) give out Best Original Score. My vote is 127 Hours. Oh, or Inception. The Social Network wins. Sound Editing goes to Inception. Presented by Matthew McWHATEVER and Scar Jo. Andddd lost again. What now? Well, Inception wins that too.

8:49Miranda wants more drag queens. And has to take a potty break. Here is a picture of Franco that I’ll most likely have to delete before posting:

8:56 – Still haven’t taken that break, because the most beautiful Cate Blanchett is presenting. The Wolfman wins for Best Makeup. I think. Blogging and paying attention is hard! Costume Design…so many fantastic choices…Alice in Wonderland snatches it up! She worked on HBC’s dress.

9:01 – Tumblr beasts come out to play again. My favorite movie song is Lose Yourself too! Kevin Spacey presents the Best Original Song, but first Randy Newman performs. YES! Perfect bathroom break time. EEE! CHUCK! (Zachary Levi).

9:11 – Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal (that spelling is a guess). Short Documentary Film winner: Strangers No More. Live Action Short Film: God of Love. Guy wishes he got a haircut, and is adorable. “I should’ve gotten a haircut.” What a big moment for him, and his rushed thanking, and aww! Hold up, when did Hathaway change?

9:11 – AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Harry Potter “Tiny Ball of Light Song”. *Dead*

…flatline…

9:20 – God is Oprah!? Inside Job wins Documentary Feature.

9:27 – Billy Crystal! Oscar hosting legend! (NOTE: James Franco is livetweeting from the Kodak? Jesus (Bale)! http://twitter.com/jamesfranco#)

9:31 – Robert Downey Jr! Jude Law! This is all too much for me. They look so dapper. Best Visual Effects: Inception. We all knew that of course. Amazing! I am sorry these have been brief updates. Tumblr is going mad right now! Best Film Editing: The Social Network

9:40 – “Tiny Ball of Light” Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. Just listen.

9:41 – Another beautiful dress for Anne. Idol alum Jennifer Hudson presents…but first FLORENCE WELCH. I think I have a girl crush on her. Also, some guy’s name I didn’t catch, so I sit here in ignorance. (A.R. Rahman) Listening to beauty. Too short! Gwyneth Paltrow, I love you, you are amazing, you sing lovely, but you are not a country singer by any stretch of the word.

Best Original Song: “We Belong Together” by Randy Newman.

9:52 – Celine Dion singing “Smile”. Tributes play. Oh, my Leslie Neilson, the Friar from Romeo and Juliet, and Patricia Neal, and DENNIS HOPPER.

10:02Best Director: Tom Hooper for The King’s Speech.

10:06 – Split second shot of Bridgette Bardot. Life is good.

10:13 – I am a huge Jeff Bridges fan. He is presenting the  Best Actress award. Natalie Portman wins. No surprise there. I kinda wanted Jennifer Lawrence to win, or…ANOTHER dress change for Anne Hathaway. (Oh, and Natalie’s speech was very touching.)

10:20 – Sandy Bullock, as Ryan Seacrest called her on the red carpet, presents Best Actor. “Jesse, I’m still waiting for you to accept my friend request on Facebook. Seriously.” The performances chosen this year are all brilliant. Brilliant. Colin Firth wins. Another huge surprise. *sarcasm*

10:29 – I’m like an old lady. Exhausted. Sleepy. Way past my bedtime. Should I mention I am so sure James Franco is on something or other.

10:32 – Steven Spielberg is up to hand out the biggest award of the night. BEST PICTURE. I love these spliced videos. They remind me why I love film so much. Why it is art. How visually appealing our world is, pleasing to listen to, jarring to understand, incredible. Movies are a mirror. They are a reflection of ourselves. Human nature blown up and ripped from the wires and displayed for all to see.

‎”We have been forced into a conflict for the sake of all that we ourselves hold dear; it is unthinkable that we should refuse to meet the challenge.”

I just noticed the nominee graphics. Fantastic.

“And the Oscar goes to The King’s Speech!”

10:38 – One last gorgeous dress from the lady host. James looking handsome. New York children’s choir. It feels like New Year’s Eve. Throwing up their statues, and saying goodnight.

10:42 – Wow. I’m impressed. Usually, I’m bored out of mind while watching these award things, but the 2011 Oscars was just full of talent (NOT just throwing that word out willy-nilly, as if every actor walking in Hollywood had oodles of “talent”) and fun, lightheartedness.

Annnddd, all of Anne’s dresses (and tux):

Now I’m off to bed!

THE NEXT DAY:

9:22 – This year’s awards ceremony is being called “dull” and “boring”. I really didn’t feel that. Maybe, there have been better broadcasts, but I enjoyed myself.

 

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