The Jersey Snore

Snookie is due on Dec. 21, 2012. Well played, Mayans. Well played. But does anyone else see what’s wrong here? Like, possibly, the fact that this child is going to be mothered by one of the Jersey Shore cast members, specifically the one that loves pickles. Or the fact that I (and the other 7 billion people on earth) fear for this child’s well being. I mean we all know this poor defenseless kid is going to suffer from multiple skin conditions due excessive amounts of tanning. Don’t think Snookie is not going to raise her child to be the personification of a Guido nation, it’s gong to happen – don’t even try to deny it. Or maybe something is right? Like maybe the universe is punishing Snookie for her heavy partying with fellow guidos and guidas. Maybe having this child will be a wake up call for Miss Polizzi and her fiancee Jionni LaValle and she will set herself straight and abandon her guida ways. Sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face while saying that, I mean Snookie not being a guida? I think pigs while simultaneously combust while flying before that ever happens.

Still, what else can you expect from the infamous cast of Jersey Shore? All they do is party, drink, and sleep. How do you expect us ‘normal’ folk to take the Snookie pregnancy seriously? There is literally nothing else they do; nada, zip, zulch. It’s what they have made for themselves, it’s their name, their perogative, their life. They have, ultimately, put this prejudice, this discrimination, upon themselves. It’s not our fault that we associate the likes of Snookie, JWOW, and The Situation with alcoholics and tan-o-holics. It’s theirs – they have brought this upon themselves.

Picture Snookie in a fuzzy pink bunny slippers, a fuzzy pink robe with her hair in curlers, waking up to her baby’s crying at 4 o’clock in the morning. Trailing her is her extremely tan husband carrying the already made bottle of milk for their bundle of joy. It’s just not right. But hey, they are human so maybe, just maybe, this is going to be just what the doctor ordered.

Will Snookie prove to be a good mother or should Child Protective Services ready their trucks?

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About Patty Zaragoza

My name is Patty or as some like to refer to me as Pegleg. I am a Junior here at Mac. This will be my second year participating in the Yearbook staff and my first in Newspaper. In my spare time I like doing photography and writing for fun. I also enjoy reading when I am not covering events for publications and doing homework. My favorite Authors are Rick Riordan and J.K Rowling. I am a Yankees fan (Jeeter and Rodriguez!), I love baseball and play softball. I watch Sunday night football every... Sunday. Go Cowboys! and I am a Longhorn at heart. Keep Austin Weird!

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