Daily Drive Thru Disasters



By Natalie Bair

Working drive thru makes for a never ending adventure, filled with the glory of minimum wage paychecks, customers straight from the angry Snickers commercial, and a face full of environmental acne (the grease in the air does wonders for the young pores of struggling adolescents). Despite that, the inevitable stories that accompany an average workday, all starting with, “You wouldn’t BELIEVE what happened this time!” make the whole endeavor inarguably worth it.

Forget reality television. Nothing can compare to the drama that unfolds just beyond the window. Arguing couples find the drive thru an ideal location to hash out the all consuming depths of their relationship turmoil. The amount of screaming matches that play out before a frazzled and highly entertained employee’s eyes is monumental. Apparently, throwing 44 oz of red Powerade at one’s inconsolable significant other also makes for a fantastic idea. On that note, throwing cell phones and credit cards out the window, along with that value meal while pulling out of the parking lot, seems consequently irresistible. Just sit back, grab some popcorn (or some extra french fries) and enjoy the show, the hysteria, and the disgustingly hilarious downfall of ridiculous relationships.

Not only do episodes of MTV’s most emotional dating shows unravel themselves within arm’s reach, but epic duets and life altering concerts present themselves in the drive thru window, absolutely free of cost. One hasn’t lived until they witness a rendition of “Ice Ice Baby” before them, and life falls desperately short until one experiences the first hand serenation of  Wrecking Ball by some Miley Cyrus wannabe. Hearing these heartwrenchingly awful interpretations of songs, with unmatchable passion and breaking vocal cords, really changes a person.

Ultimately, working in drive thru offers some of the most beautifully embarrassed customers, where the all-too-pleased employee gets to watch from the judging end. Catching people in the midst of taking a selfie proves blissfully gratifying. Listening to unaware burly men, fully accessorized in the most intimidating layer of tattoos talk to their little chihuahua in a gooey baby voice, graciously adoring their little “princess” completely enhances a person’s perspective. Upon realizing that they managed to gather the attention of the entire drive thru crew, silently watching with distant disapproval and subtle amusement, the situation immediately turns into one of single-sided awkwardness.

Laughing at other people’s grief from the safe-side of a window might prove questionably problematic to moral conviction, but never ceases to lead to a fun time.

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