By Madeline Kempf | Staff Writer
‘dinner and a movie?’
‘sure, text me the deets’
A familiar dialogue? It should be. Modern dating is an entirely different beast than the ‘going steady’ days of our parents. No more waiting anxiously by the phone for a promised call. The guy rarely, if ever, comes to the door. When did you last see a fellow carrying his lady’s belongings from class to class?
“I prefer casual dating. It tends to be less expensive and more relaxed. However, I think that there should definitely be some traditional dates from time to time,” junior Kaleb Martin said.
Casual dating can range from a study date to mini golf or simply hanging out. The ‘traditional way’ is usually more formal; it doesn’t have to mean breaking out the credit cards and formalwear, but has a more intimate feel.
“I prefer the traditional way, because casual dating is more open,” sophomore Chandler Rutledge said. “You can get your heart hurt easier because you don’t really know how y’all really stand.”
A date now typically relies on the personalities of the two as individuals. Set standards and expectations are those placed upon oneself. Location is less of an issue than the compatibility of the couple. Freshman Travis Keast states his guidelines in the simplest and sweetest manner.
“All depending on the girl she is; either kind of date would be nice, as long as I’m with her. I would be the best that I can be, and polite, and never give her doubt in my actions when she’s not around,” Keast said.
Now don’t go meet up in some secluded ally or hang out behind McDonalds; that’s just overdoing it. Fact is, the whole concept of dating has changed. Our parents didn’t post “I miss you baby” all over each other’s Facebook walls or text each other 24/7. The lack of face to face communication may have some blame in this.
“I think that facebook-wise they would be like, ‘hey you wanna go out this afternoon?’ rather than coming up to your face and asking you. Or they’ll text you “Good morning” then won’t even come up to approach you in the morning; they’ll have other things to do and hang out with their guy friends. Texting you’ll get all texts saying “I love you” but you won’t ever actually hear it in person so I feel that relationships have changed in the aspect of the confidence level like totally washed away cause now they’re not afraid to text but they’re afraid to talk to your face,” junior Kim Temple said.
If they’re not going to say it to your face, what really makes it more noble by sending it through an extremely delayed text? Sure, it’s great to get to talk to your companion more than we could without knowledge of this technology, but the constant waiting for a reply from that text you sent just two minutes ago and telling the other person what you’re doing every second of every day may not be all that great for the relationship itself. Most of our previous generations were oblivious to the fact that the other person was doing “nothin much” or “just chillin”. What a great way to bond- letting the entire Facebook community publicly see your love-life spread before everyone. With that, is it better to go on a friendly, less stressful group date or a more intimate one-on-one date?
“I think it depends. I think if you haven’t gone out with a guy before and you don’t know him that well, then a group date is better because it’s more relaxed and if it gets awkward, you can always have some ‘back up’. But if you really want to get to know them, then a one on one date would be better. But you should start with a group date so there’s less pressure,” sophomore Victoria Vogler said.
For those who’re just taking their baby steps in a first relationship or wanting to test the water first, there’s always been that group date atmosphere. Even those who’ve dated a year or two would go on one; it’s never a bad thing. But you can’t honestly expect to evolve if you don’t ever get that alone time to really get to know someone. As for those who go on a traditional date, nowadays it seems technology has once again taken its toll. Didn’t the guy used to come up to the door, meet the parents and walk the girl out to the car? It’s easier to text and state their arrival, but the respect should be accounted for.
“I’d rather him walk up to my door! I feel that texting ‘I am here’ is just a sign of laziness. Every girl deserves to be treated like a princess and feel special by someone they care about,” Isabella Arredondo said.
No matter what the case, it really should be just about being with the other person. So put the texting down while at the restaurant table, take eye contact into consideration and just keep it classy.
“I think that he should just be polite and considerate towards the girl and stuff. I mean, I don’t mean anything extreme but it would be nice for a guy to give me a jacket if I got cold or to open the car door for me when I got out,” Rutledge said. “Sometimes it’s the smaller things that matter more than the absolute big picture.”