Whether you celebrate the birth of Jesus, the re-dedication of the holy Temple in Jerusalem, African heritage, or just being with family to open gifts, people on all ends the spectrum can agree that Christmas lights are always a good show. And while your average neighborhood houses can be nice, with the snowflake lights, wrapped trees, or maybe even a giant inflatable snow globe with Santa petting a penguin inside, seeing what’s 30 minutes down I-35 will change your perspective of ‘going all out’ for the holidays.
Santa’s Ranch is a mile-long drive thru lights show just south of San Marcos. From the highway you can point it out by a giant, flashing green tree, and if it’s past 7:30 pm, you’ll see a giant line clogging the feeder road to turn in. With over 1 million lights lining its path of holiday-greatness, it’s a wonder how the place doesn’t need a whole power plant of its own.
I don’t want to tell you every little detail of what exactly is lit up inside of Santa’s Ranch, because that ruins all of the fun. But, I will give you a play by play of what you’ll be thinking/saying/shouting as you go through this festive masterpiece.
“Oh, that’s swell.” “Cute, very cute.” “HOW DID THEY DO THAT?!” “Oh, what is that? Do you know what this is? Oh I see. Oh wow…” “Awww that is precious” (Ok maybe only females will say the word ‘precious.’ For guys we’ll substitute ‘sweet, man.’) “Oh stop, stop, let me get a picture!” “Oh I love this.” “Let’s take a selfie.”
If you don’t say one or more of those things, I really don’t know what to tell you. You may have more fun staring at a piece of chalk, I don’t know.
There are some secrets to expanding your fun level from GREAT to FABULOUS, (Ok boys probably won’t think ‘fabulous’ is fun, I may need a more gender-neutral vocabulary).
1. Pack your car with as many people as you can, you can split the cost to get in ($24).
2. Get there between 6-7 pm, waiting in a long line will decrease your patience level and make you less susceptible to enjoying lit up reindeer.
3. Roll down all windows, (sun roof too if you have that).
4. Blast 101.9 or Frank Sinatra Holiday Pandora playlist.
5. Have Christmas/Holiday spirit! (Yes, I know how cliche that sounds, geez).