by Emily Moore | co- Editor in Chief(Despite my complete ‘level 1 noob’ status, I am able to tell a good gamer movie from a bad one. This was, by far, a bad one.)

Scrolling through the Independent section of the online Netflix library, I happened upon a hopeful, optimistic little film titled Video Game High School, or VGHS. I probably should have realized that this would be bad from the get go, but I like to keep an open mind. Needless to say, I shouldn’t have.

The film starts as you would expect- in the realm of a video game. The characters of the film are also the characters in the game, an interesting touch, and the game has a way of encapsulating the real world. This is about as far as the positive comments can go.

Main character, Brian D, gets the chance of a lifetime when his one-hit-wonder video game status gains him a spot in the prestigious Video Game High School. Too bad the movie couldn’t rack up enough points to get a high score.

I will add that the whole use of the cliche ‘technology rules’ was nice, and executed well. Yet, then again, having an emotional connection to a keyboard is pretty creepy.

What went wrong:

The humor is forced. If you can tell that the ‘actors’ don’t even think the jokes are funny, why are you trying to pass them off to the public? I know it seems like I’m being pretty harsh, but I am just being completely honest. Some jokes work, but for the most part, the so-called humor of this film is just not there. E for effort, loves, E for effort.

18 minutes in, and I wanted to quit.
I really don’t understand why this movie is over two hours long. The plot is not that complicated, I mean, there’s barely a plot line at all…so what’s the drag? Why the addition of the fake mini-series based on the movie, the fake ending (with credits, I might add,) the fight scene, the other fight scene, the four game fight scenes, the ridiculously uncomfortable kiss scene between boy wonder Brian D and “The Matrix.” Why? There has to be some point here. Some lengthy, wishful, bucket-list type checklist the directors dreamt up and tried to shove into the unforgiving plot line.

The situation is completely unrealistic, but I guess that could add to its…charm.. Yeah, let’s go with charm. Take the fact that this ‘high school’ doesn’t have any real classes, except, of course for Ace’s FPS (first person shooter) class, and more of the sort. How does this get government funding? I understand that video games have replaced real sports, but you don’t see schools of only football earning big bucks from the feds. Then again, it is based in Canada… 

Acting is best done by real actors. Come on people, I could do better than this. How hard is it to pretend to be scared? Or excited? Or even just normal? I guess they’re using the Independent title as an excuse to go a little lax on the funding they clearly only received from all the on-screen advertising they so ‘cleverly’ use.

No one is that nice. Or that dramatic. (See above rant on said acting skills.)

The writers obviously enjoy cliches. Just stop. Stop. I can’t even explain how many cliches are in this movie. I just wanted to throw my computer and rage quit so hard every time someone opened their mouth.

Then, you know, everything else. I’m not even kidding.
Even Pat Benatar would be upset about this take on life being a battlefield. Don’t watch this. Its like Monday mornings when you have school, the Broncos/ Ravens game a few weeks ago, and cold showers all mixed together, times ten. Seriously, don’t do it. Not even as a joke, not even to, just no. Don’t. Don’t even think about it. No. No. No. No.

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About The Author

Emily Moore is currently a senior at Johnson High School, where she is the Editor In Chief of the Opinion section of My Jag News. She enjoys making science puns, and correcting people's grammar. You can usually find her screaming at reporters/ photographers in the Journalism lab, or doodling aquatic animals onto other people's property. She is obsessed with the color red, green tea ice cream, 'The League,' and anything to do with Emma Watson or Harrison Ford. Her main goals in life are to write for the New York Times, spend a summer in a foreign country and to rid the world of all its nonsense.

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