‘Evil Dead’ bores more than scares

Evil dead turns out not to be what people were hoping for.

by Sumner Strickland |staff writer

“Evil Dead may be the best movie of the year”, said no sane person ever. The remake of the classic Evil Dead, is complete trash.

In Evil Dead a group of friends go out to a cabin for a weekend and encounter spirits, that turn them into weird zombie like monsters. One of their friends, Mia, has a bad drug problem and they try to rid her of her addiction. But, everything goes wrong when one of the friends finds a book that reads, “DO NOT READ”. So naturally he reads it, because he’s a rebel like that, and unleashes the undead. Whoops.

The story from the original movie is just as stupid as this one, but the original had a style all its own. And beyond that, it was actually scary, not jump scary. That was the biggest problem for me, the movie couldn’t actually be scary, it had to use jumps scares and that was it. Even though the movie’s only an hour and a half, it feels easily like three hours, because you’re so bored the entire time.  The acting is terrible which isn’t much of a surprise. I am not a fan of the digital, because the effects don’t sell it and make it look even faker than the original movie. The writing is annoying, the dialogue is flat, but worse than that it makes its hollow coffins (otherwise known as characters) seem positively brainless. I won’t get into spoilers because no matter how bad a movie, maybe I don’t believe in ruining anything, but trust me it’s not worth anyone’s time.

On the upside you get to see a bunch of pretty people killed for an hour and a half, other than that this movie doesn’t have much going for it.

For anybody wanting to see a real Cabin in the Woods movie I recommend three movies. Evil Dead, (original) Evil Dead 2, and Cabin in the Woods (which pokes holes in every crevice of a Cabin in the Woods movie.) But all and all, the remake of Evil Dead is just a full on bore.

My recommendation: ★ out of ★★★★

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