by Mahek Khetani|arts and entertainment editor
From the same author that brought you in-depth reports on sexual harassment and gender inequality, comes a story about what’s really important, teenage slang. Join us as we painfully lampoon the current lingo. But remember children, it’s okay to use these words online, but keep in mind…
The College Board is always watching.
The act of ignoring all priorities to dedicate one’s time to watching as many episodes of a series until we’re caught up in time for the season premiere.
Origin: Believe it or not, the 90’s when DVDs were invented and it was basically the equivalent of time travel for people.
Example:“Oh my god, I’m so exhausted, I’ve been binge watching Arrow so I can be caught up for the premiere tonight.”
Abbreviation for ‘in case you missed it,’ only intended to be used in the form of a hashtag or text message; if you say it as a part of your vocabulary, you will be judged
Origin- Breaking news tweets from E! news
“@eonline: ICYMI Actress Blake Lively is pregnant!”
1.The act of watching a TV show or movie only for the sole purpose of criticizing it while simultaneously receiving pleasure from the anger you’ve caused from the fanbase.
2.Watching a series you were once fond of, but throughout the seasons it has turned to 42 minutes of pure stupidity. (we’re looking at you Glee writers)
Example: “omg, I love hate watching Catfish. It’s so ridiculous, how can people be so stupid.”
Usually executed within a disapproving facial expression, conveys irritation and/or animosity for a person, place or thing… or all three
“I’m side-eyeing Cara so hard right now, she was totally flirting with Dane, and she knows we’re going to homecoming together!”
Origin: the side eyeing chloe meme (the “Chloe, we’re going to Disneyland” vine)
The act of indirectly ‘shading’ someone via Twitter
origin: Twitter peeps who love starting fights
Example: “Did you see Addie’s last tweet? She was totally subtweeting me, like come on just say it to my face.”
Description of something (commonly eyebrows) that is done to perfection, but the vocality of the mere word itself will reduce one’s IQ points, therefore speak with caution.
Origin- Vine user Peaches Monroe (the name says it all)
Example: It is against our journalistic integrity to even use this word in a sentence, our apologies.
A unit of measurement in regards to literally anything (yes, we’re that sick of the metric system)
Origin: A rap song????
Example: “I’m hella stressed over this Physics test man – I’m just gonna marry rich.”
Synonymous with dude, you guys, y’all, hey you over there, etc.
origin: also a rap song????
Example: “Chill fam, no need to get all worked up.”
Apparently ‘burn’ wasn’t good enough slang. We’ve updated to roast because society is progressive like that
Origin: insatiable etymologists????
Within the wasteland, Desert is the teenager and likes on a photo is the oasis.
Origin: people who buy their Instagram followers
Example: “She’s so thirsty for likes, she used like 13 hashtags on her last post. Like #FollowForFollow? Really?”
That groan expressed when you’re at a concert and every girl is wearing the same outfit you saw on mannequin at Forever 21 two weeks ago, as well as other transparent and cliche motives.
Origin: beyonce?Example: “Ombre hair and tribal print? Could her style be more basic? It’s like she came straight out of a WeHeartIt photo.”