By Mahek Khetani | arts and entertainment editor
As our lord and savior Ned Bigby once said, it’s the “most important choice you make before marriage.” But these unions result in even more frustration than those of an old married couple
–The one who’s always “sick” This master of avoidance is gone through the entire duration of the project, while the group is hard at work, but somehow, miraculously heals the day of presenting; thus, receiving full credit for the work that he/she never did. This is the purest form of classroom injustice.
–The “I’ll do it myself” The group member with a GPA higher than all of your group combined, and all of a sudden, it’s as if you’re the trophy wife to some GT kid, standing there looking pretty as he/she gives a glorious presentation on the Cold War. While the grade is good, we’re still internally debating if it’s worth the condescending attitude from a kid with a major superiority complex.
–The one who just smiles and nods.- The person that really doesn’t understand the project so they kind of go with any plan you have. This character goes hand in hand with the person who is on their phone more than half the time, leaving you with one worded answers like “okay” “cool” and our personal favorite “I’m fine with anything.” Okay then, we’ll just make you present in a chicken costume if you’re ‘fine with anything.’
-The one who didn’t have another group to join– The look of shame among this poor loner is a sore sight indeed. This fella had no other friends and the teacher stuck them in your group. But you must be charitable and welcome them to your clique of weirdos, and must do your best to make sure he/she doesn’t end up doing a solo project…Ugh.
-The one who does nothing but takes lead during the presentation This is probably the most annoying one on the list. Always blowing off helping the group, and then when it’s time to present, the charisma kicks in and all of a sudden it’s as though a Ted Talk is being held by a guy who didn’t once look at the rubric.
-The one who goofs off While pleasant at first, this joker’s attitude gets old when it’s a day before the project and he/she is sending links to Buzzfeed videos in the group chat. It’s currently crunch time and we don’t care for ‘Americans try Asian snacks.’ Put the slightly racist video aside and do your assignment…we can laugh together while we bask in the glory of our aced project.
-The teacher’s pet The most treasured member of the group. The final project could be 4 days late and have the quality of an artificial potato but the teacher absolutely would not care. This member has this obnoxious but useful lure over the desired teacher…a hypnotic sort of power. It’s even worth having to hear your teacher referred to as ‘Mom’ while the two giggle over something they discovered on pinterest.