Why You Should Eat Fast Food Before Homecoming

by Caitlin Blackmon | staff writer

You’ve spent months planning this night. You found the perfect dress, you pre-picked the only Instagram filter that will suffice -Valencia of course- and your squad is on point.  You’re ahead of the game. The night is bound to be great, but do you really want to eat at an uptight, fancy restaurant? Eating fast food before the homecoming dance is a different way to start the party, and it may seem odd, but it’s obviously the best option.

  1. Everybody likes a good Dairy Queen Blizzard, and homecoming is just as good a day as any to pick one up. Who would honestly prefer to eat a soggy side salad that’s almost as wrinkly as your grandmother over chicken strips and gravy for dinner and an cookies and cream blizzard for dessert? The answer is nobody.
  2. Fast food is called fast food for a reason. Instead of rushing through your transformation process to get to dinner on time, you can take the 27 hours you desperately need and eat some fast food. Why wait an hour for the waiter to bring you an overpriced steak when you can grab your food at the cashier and chill in the corner booth at Mcdonalds.
  3. You know your buddies have the potential of getting kicked out of a nice restaurant, so it’s going to be easier on everyone to live it up at Whataburger. The homecoming drama is inevitable. Sharp knives and glass plates are never safe around two teenage girls who just happened to wear the same exact dress.
  4. Why pay more when you could pay less? You probably already spent more money than your parents’ debit card allowed for the dress or tux alone. You don’t need to go spending your own money on a dinner that probably isn’t even worth it.
  5. Fast food restaurants are bound to be less busy, especially on homecoming night. Unless your choice is Chick-fil-a, then you’re better off going to olive Garden- a happy medium between fancy and fast. Silo’s wait is definitely going to be over an hour, even if you made a reservation. So save the time and the stress, bring a tablecloth and a couple flowers and make Taco Cabana look fancy.
  6. “Reservations? What do you mean you didn’t make reservations?” It’s okay, don’t stress. Taco Bell is still an option *hint hint*. No need to call a month in advance for some quick Mexican food. Then, when the dateless members of your group get dates the day before the big day, you won’t have to worry about calling and changing the number of people.
  7. If you failed to make reservations, there’s no point of even trying. The line will be out the door and you wont be seated. Unless you don’t wanna go to homecoming. It’s your call.
  8. If you go to a fancy restaurant, you’re going to be forced to act civilized and use actual utensils. And since your parents won’t be there to cut your steak for you, you might as well save yourself the embarrassment and stick to chicken nuggets and french fries.
  9. You know you spend half your free time at Wendy’s anyway, so going before homecoming is only second nature. The usual Saturday night cashier might even be working on Homecoming night, so you won’t even have have to tell him your order since he probably already knows it by heart. Plus he might even throw in  free frosty.
  10. You would rather stuff your face any day than listen to your stomach growl for a thousand years before you even get the appetizer. Don’t subject yourself to that kind of torture. Finger food is the only food. Why pay $40 for a 4 oz. steak when you can pay $6 for a Big Mac, fries, and a Dr. Pepper?

When it’s all said and done, food is food. So instead of forcing your group to go to some fancy restaurant on homecoming night, save yourself a little work and head to your favorite fast food restaurant, where quality get quality food for a discount.

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