When I Found Out

No sound, no thought, no voice entering the ear. The nights were the coldest, all the pain, all the thoughts clouding my head.

When I was five, the cold dark air pushed at my face entering my soul turning it to ice. The pain of knowing I am lost sickness me. Every thought, every pain In my heart hurts. The day the doctor told me was a day I would never forget.

“Sorry, um…your son, Sammy; how do I put this? Sammy is deaf in the right ear. Sorry, Ms. Esparza”

Those words will never leave my head they will stay and burn my soul till the end of time.

Knowing now of the pain I go through doesn’t change the fact that am still deaf. Never hearing from the ear, not knowing of the games we might play, not knowing of what life would be like when am old.

All of that happened 13 years ago, and today I am still deaf. The sad nights I go through asking what I did to get this pain; of asking, “Why me? Why not other people?”

I woke up and saw why. I am a kid I shouldn’t be given a choice why would I?

The pain of all this hurts more then being shot at or cutting at some ones wrist. I am deaf and will always be.

Is it God testing me in my life?

I proved him wrong. I can fight It!  I will never give up hope. The sun is bright, the world is right, and I am deaf in one ear.

But I live through the days happy and strong, I never give up on myself. Yes, people make fun of me. Yelling, screaming; all the name calling burns my soul. My heart is still strong, every word they say makes me stronger and makes me alive and well.

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