The Chubbies Pandemic

Drew Bauml demonstrates “Skies Out Thighs Out”.
Photo by Sarah Morales

Put your tongues back in your mouths, ladies.

As Chubbies shorts get more popular, men across the nation collectively show more and more inches of hairy calves and soon-to-be-tan whitened thighs.

After only one year of business, #ChubsterNation has taken a hold of young preppy boys across America, and those boys have taken the title with pride. Previously exclusive to frat boys and hipsters, the Chubbies pandemic has expanded enough to reach the boys at school. Chubbies shorts hit around mid-thigh and have an elastic waist, keeping wearers comfortable even if their midsections expand. The company’s CEO Rainer Castillo hopes to bring back the glory shorts once held before the oppression of the cargo and despite of the jaw dropping fabric to leg length ratio, Castillo refuses to acknowledge Chubbies as booty or cargo shorts.

“They’re just shorts!” he stressed.

Owning seven pairs priced at $60 each, Drew Bauml (11) is the self proclaimed leader of the local Chubster Nation.

A World of Chubbies
Photo by Sarah Morales

“It’s not that uncommon for people to buy expensive clothes,” Bauml said. “I like Chubbies because they are the most comfortable shorts I’ve ever worn and my thighs feel liberated and  free in these radical shorts.”

The online website is specifically designed to attract bros of the internet using a blog style website format and titles for each pair like The ‘Mericas, The All Nighters and The Where Am I’s? to attract the preppy boys of the web.

“I saw The ‘Merica chubbies online somewhere and I knew I had to get some,” Bauml recalls about his first pair.

#ChubsterNation even took the power of the internet to make the shorts a trending collective on Twitter and Instagram as well as self submitted Chubster Facts all the dedicated dudes here .

Although the online store attracts many customers, other bros hopped on the bandwagon before shelling out the cash for their own pair.

“My friend Roma let me try them on, and they were so comfy and breezy I went to go buy a pair,” Eloy Cuellar (11) said. “I bought black and orange, and a white and orange pair. I like them a lot because they look a little more classy than basketball shorts. I guess, they look good with whatever you wear. I see some people from other schools wear them, but I mostly see them at MAC. There are certain people that shouldn’t wear them. Chubbies shouldn’t wear chubbies- exactly.”

The box the shorts come in.
Photo by Sarah Morales


Sam Falcone (11) is one of the few boys who, though he would look fantastic in them, refuses to be part of the Chubbies fad.

“Heck no,” Falcone said. “I’m not a preppy.”

Bauml believes every boy should keep a pair in their closet, regardless of labels or style.

“Chubbies are just bringing back the style that Larry Bird, Schwarzenegger and countless others used to rock back in the 80s,” Bauml said. “They’re bringing out the Ferris, Marty McFly, and Breakfast Club in all of us.”


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About Sarah Morales

My name is Sarah and I'm the head editor :-)

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