By Elliot Pope

 

1 John 4:8- Anyone who does not love does not know GOD, because GOD is love.

 

When I hold this boy in my arms, I think I finally understand what it means to worship. 

 

I know it is wrong.

Once the Rapture arrives, and the LORD collects the holy, the Angels will pass me by.

They’ll carry up the Righteous, the people who felt at home in the body they were given, the people who loved who they were supposed to love. 

 

Me, with my twisted testosterone frame and boy-loving heart, will be left for the flames.

 

At least he will be with me.

 

I kiss his forehead, over his heart, on each shoulder, and whisper father son and the holy spirit.

 

I anoint myself with saliva.  

If I am damned to burn here, at least we’ll burn together.

 

Luke 18:8- I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?

 

Oh God, when he tells me he loves me, I know I will never see your shining face.

And God, when I whisper the words back, I can’t begin to care.

 

Send the Floods, the Fire, the Hosts of Angels to punish the sinners.

Let your Grace descend upon Earth.

When the smoke clears, when your Chosen have been put to their rightful place, I will take him in my arms once more.

 

We’ll baptize ourselves in ashes.

We’ll be born again in the ruined world.

 

Maybe our self-made boyhood will be celebrated on this fallen Earth.

 

We can love each other without Your judgment… without their judgment.

 

Oh God, when you save the holy, know that I tried.

I let them stuff their ideology down my throat.

I let them tell me I was wrong, confused, a mistake.

 

But I found my own religion.

He is patient, he is kind, he is love.

And he is my savior.

 

Matthew 27:46- And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”