by Stephan Mielnik

 

Two years ago now

   Two years ago.

 

The way I am standing right now

                     The same way I stood

                                           Two years ago

 

Two years ago, I met You

          Another you

A you before the you happened 

A you I had hope for

 

           A You that I knew.

 

“I think I love you.”

                   Is that so?

Is this a feeling You really want to know?

 

         You say yes,

You say yes.

 

As time flew away as it always loves to do

        Things felt brighter 

                 Things felt better

 

Something felt wrong though

     I didn’t know what back then

 

As my eyes were covered by that sin you 

You

Used to spit.

 

But yet either way, here we fuckin are

      Your arm linked with mine

Your eyes saying that you like me but

 

      God is that true?

            If there’s a God please see my letters through

 

I wrote them with my 

     Blood 

Sweat and Tears 

 

I close my eyes and suddenly everything’s Different

That warm feeling got me breathing too heavy 

 

It’s choking me

I don’t like the feeling

When I said answer my prayers 

 

God, I didn’t mean literally.

 

And now you’re screaming at me

        That I’ve gone too far

             That I’ve gone too far?

 

       You think I’m the one who’s gone too far???

 

    “You act like such a critic”

                 No baby I’m a Star 

 

You act like you’re a god

And that’s why you’re so Gone!

 

       Why won’t you wake up?!

 

                      Why won’t you wake up?

 

And now I’m scared

      Not cus I cared 

         Or you’re not there

But because I know what you’re capable of

 

             I know you’re Aware.

 

You’re petty 

You’re messed up

You’ll tell everyone here I’m a Fuck up

So if I don’t show up

Tell my friends I loved them

 

         With the Bitten Bits

                 I got left of my heart 

 

I want you to know, just before I go

 

Every time you’re fully engulfed in that fantasy of yours

When you have a crowd of people praising you 

 

Treating you like the Lord

        Smiles on their faces, filled with joy

Tears to their eyes from your presence 

 

    “Oh my oh my how graceful you are!!”

How poetic.

 

            I’ll be there.

            I’ll be there in the background.

 

There in spirit 

With a scowl to get rid of your Delusional Merit

 

                To make sure you truly snap back in place.

 

     Make you get out of this phase.

 

Before you, boy, glare at me

And before you, girl, stare at me

 

This poem isn’t about you

 

It’s about me.