The Rise and Fall of Hotdog Guy



The city, a cacophony of sirens and horns, rushed into the small convenient store on the corner of a street without a name as Hotdog Guy opened for the day. The metallic rattle of the gate signaled that this day would be like any other.  

Turn TV on. Put on apron. Check register. Open for business.

As Hotdog Guy moved through his day like an automaton, his subconscious heard the weird reports coming from the news but thought nothing of it until, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a car being lifted off the ground.

“Oh my God!  What the heck?”  

He looked to see the reactions of his customers, who had already begun to run. Grabbing the cashbox, he ran through the open door into the chaos of the street.  

In all the confusion, Hotdog Guy ran toward the electric buzz of a laser beam, which locked onto the cashbox he held tightly in his grasp.

“Hey, what’s the big idea. That’s mine you lousy alien relish head!”

As he held resolutely to his precious metal box, Hotdog Guy realized his feet left the ground and he, too, was being lifted into the air.  He looked in horror as his eyes looked into the gaping maw of the mother ship. In that instant, all went dark.

In the flash of light everything became clear.  The room, if that was what it was, had a tint of green, purple, and pink.  The alien lightbulb hanging above him revealed a mountain of earth junk, stolen by the unidentified beings.  A broken sink. A tricycle without one wheel. A single copy of ET: the Extraterrestrial.  As he cautiously looks around the room for signs of life, Hotdog Guy slips the copy of ET in his bun before searching for the exit.  Walking up to the slick, metallic wall, he feels around for some kind of secret button or panel, and to his surprise his hand hit a door knob. “Aliens know how to use door knobs? Who’d-a-thought?”

A long hallway stretched before him, lined with blue fluorescent lights.  Oh so carefully Hotdog Guy tiptoed through the echoing hall, the cashbox clanging with each movement. Although he saw the red laser light crossing his path, he gleefully stepped right through it. The sound of roaring technology shook the hallway, and he stood there like a deer caught in headlights.  Beneath him opened a trap door and what looked like a toy raygun slowly rose to his level.

Terrified, Hotdog Guy took what he thought to be his last breath before he was squirted in the face with a stream of water. Unfazed but certainly confused he carried on making it through the bright hallway. On his way through the ship he passed many rooms, like a room that only produced chocolate milk and a room that only had a picture of hit actor nicholas cage. Nevertheless he had accidentally

found the room he was looking for, the escape pods. “l knew they had escape pods,I saw this in a movie once!”hot dog guy exclaimed. As hot dog guy climbs in he excitedly closes the hatch behind him. “I totally got this” hot dog guy mumbled to himself quietly. As soon as the hatch closed he immediately starts mashing buttons hoping he will land safely. As the mechanical whirring of the mother ship slowly fades away he knew he was piloting safely away;what he did not know is he was heading straight for a Mart Mart super market. Once the deafening crash and the shaking subsided and the dust settled Hotdog Guy crawled out of the alien ship. “I’m 90% sure I’m in the summer isle in the store, I’m not sure I, haven’t been out of my convenience store in a long time.”

to be continued soon……

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