Optimistic, but Somewhat Fearful

I am optimistic, but somewhat fearful
I wonder how my future will treat me here
I hear the click of a spoon stirred against a teacup filled to the rim with                         chamomile tea
I see my dog hopping through a field of white roses
I want to feel needed, happy, fulfilled
I am optimistic, but somewhat fearful.

I pretend I’m in a horror film
I feel lost, like a withered plant, confused
I touch the crisp book covers as my fingers glide across the rigid spines
I worry about my future with today’s generation
I cry that I won’t ever reunite with my old friends
I am optimistic, but somewhat fearful.

I understand that nobody is the same
I say ‘Suffering has a cause’ -Buddhism Dukkha Concept
I dream of writing a horror novel
I try to improve my writing
I hope my father can be cured of Multiple Sclerosis with future medicine
I am optimistic, but somewhat fearful.